i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
