would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
