The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
