i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
