That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize