Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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