I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All I want is dick and wine.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
