I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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