You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
