I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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