Taylor Swift is so right about you.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
