I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
