she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We don't watch enough power rangers
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
