well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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