If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
