hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
