we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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