just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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