I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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