it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
