playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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