Already got asked if we're dating
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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