i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize