I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
