there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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