yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
