Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
