help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want to make out with him forever
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
