I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Its about making memories worth repressing
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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