On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
