Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
