I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
All the doctor said was why
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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