Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want her autograph on my taint
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize