I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
