idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
