Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
