So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
