Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
and she was petting her beer can
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
