He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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