I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
