dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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