i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
