it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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