Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sarcasm needs its own font
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
