Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
