I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
