we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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