she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Im part way to drunk.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
