Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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