I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
