ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize