they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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