You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
