You kept trying to hail an ambulance
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
