He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
