And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
