It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
