I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
