Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
