what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
