I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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