I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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