I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
tell me about the fingering
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