We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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