I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
