Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
