So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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