Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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