I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
