You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
