my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
And then he peed in my hair
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
